A birthday bubble

On the 4th March, in the lovely town of Gdansk, where the river was frozen, but the sun was shining, sipping a few aperols with my bestie, I turned twenty-nine years old. This was the first time I have been away for my birthday and it felt very special.

Gdansk is a port city on the Baltic coast of Poland, and it is most absolutely worth visiting.

How I would personally describe it is all my favourite things in one place. I am a water baby and any excuse being by the water, Gdansk has a vibrant waterfront (although as mentioned above the water was frozen!) A local told me that before we arrived it was almost -15 degrees and they had witnessed such heavy snow after a very long, long time. Thank god we missed that! It also has beautiful architecture, a lot of history, walkable, affordable and delicious food – if you do take a trip, definitely try the staple food which is Periogi (wonderful polish dumplings).

It felt really chilled and quiet, we went Monday til Friday so we missed out on all the crowd and busyness which was bliss.

The fact I knew I was turning twenty-nine was giving me a slight complex, so I felt really lucky and grateful that I was away, in a little holiday birthday bubble, and to be honest I came back home feeling quite reflective and blessed.

This is the last year of my twenties and it feels / sounds a little surreal because like HOW?! Also, since we lost three years in COVID, im technically 26 years old, hehe.

I received some really lovely birthday messages and one person asked me how I felt being a year away from the big thirty … honestly, a part of me feels excited for it, and then another part of me feels like this question should be banned.

Let’s go on a little trip down memory lane, before chapter 29 … 

When things got a bit heavy

Last year in September, we found out that my dad is suffering from kidney failure. My dad very bravely said he didn’t want any sort of treatment because of his age, and even the doctors suggested not to because it would cause further complications.

I remember my mum telling me this and she broke down, and I held her hand really tightly.

The thing about this situation is that the doctors didn’t give a timeline. Depending on his health, and the grace of God, he could get better. But after this news, things naturally shifted a little. We weren’t sweating the small things, my perspective on life changed, and it also made me realise how much I love my parents and how lucky I am to still have them.

A few of my friends have lost one of their parents and they’ve shared their grieving moments with me. This is when it clicked that as we are turning older, so are our parents, and how valuable and important it is to cherish moments with them.

I know this is a little heavy, but amongst the heaviness there is a lot of lightness too. My dad turned eighty in February, and how lovely it was to celebrate with him.

Look at this adorable picture of him.

November 2025 was a turning point for me because my health went a bit downhill. I remember I got my third period within the space of two weeks, which isn’t normal. I also started to get heart palpitations and felt extremely weak and dizzy (this all sounds very dramatic, I know).

I remember dialling 111 and they told me I had to go to A&E immediately. They put me on a drip, did a few tests, and one of the doctors asked me if I was stressed about anything, to which I replied, “no I don’t think so?” But to be honest, subconsciously I had so much going on in my head. My dad, life, work. So it could have been that? I am also one of those people who worries a lot about the future and outcomes.

It wasn’t until one evening that a friend of mine called me to have a catch-up, but it felt like a very divine moment because it was so random but needed. I told him about a few things that were going on, including my health, and he suggested not going back to the doctors straight away, as this could be more of a mental state showing up physically. Instead, he suggested visiting a hypnotherapist (I think he could tell over the phone that my anxiety was building).

Anyways, so I did, and I went for a few months and thankfully it really did help me.

I realised really quickly that my anxiety was interfering with my sleep, daily routine and mood.

During my hypnotherapy sessions, I also did a lot of healing by looking at certain patterns and processing heartbreak.

I got on well with my hypnotherapist. It was quite different actually, something new for me, and it wasn’t like talking therapy.

Looking back, I think my body was asking me to slow down in ways my mind hadn’t yet understood. 

The weird comments

I have never had so many comments or questions in such a short space of time, compared to any other age.

“You should have a baby now, before it is too late.”
“Find someone now, so you don’t have to worry later.”

Funnily enough, the majority of these comments were from people I work with, who don’t know me at all.

I was rattled one day and responded by saying, “Why does it bother you that I am choosing to set the foundations of my life first?”

Also, more importantly, why do I need to justify myself?

I’ve also had some people ask if I leave the house and put myself in situations where I am able to meet new people… HAHAH DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?!

Equally, some people have questioned whether I’m too independent and if that could be a problem when finding someone. Also, because I love travelling, will it be sustainable if I keep doing it forever? The answer is yes, yes I will.

Personally, choosing a life partner is the most important decision I will ever make, and I don’t want to rush or settle for the sake of it.

This doesn’t exactly fall under the “weird” category, but it can be a little triggering at times, even though I know for some people it comes from a genuine place.

“Put yourself out there or you will never meet anyone!”
“Learn to love being single!”
“Love yourself completely and then you’ll find love.”

Ugh. But I’m sure that love finds people imperfectly, as it should. I don’t need to become this exemplary single person who is perfectly healed and only has positive thoughts about love.

What I mean is, there is no point gaslighting myself into lovingggg being single. It’s unrealistic. Over a year ago I wrote a whole piece on love, and now re-reading it makes me feel like yep, almost over 90% of what I wrote, I still stand by.

29 feels … the same but not?

What feels extremely comforting about turning twenty-nine is that I don’t feel alone in feeling a bit lost at times.

Me and my friends are in such different stages of life. Some are travelling, some are getting married, some are starting a family, some are coming out of a relationship, some are becoming first-time homeowners, some are quitting their job, some are starting therapy, some are just trying to get through. And all of it is beautiful.

One of my friends who is turning thirty this year messaged me saying they felt a little lost too. Honestly, deep down I think we all feel like that at times.

Genuinely though, if we all had it all figured out, what would be the point?

What does 29 mean for me now

I AM GOING TO TRY AND LIVE IN THE PRESENT!!!

I know I keep saying this, especially in spiritual terms, but honestly it is always about the little moments that make the big picture. I am going to try and let go of comparisons and trust the process.

It used to make me feel so anxious when I didn’t know what the next thing would be, but now I am trying to rewire my brain into believing that life is still unfolding.

Seriously though guys, I am only twenty-nine… Why am I even stressing?! I’m not even in my prime yet. Also, what is “prime”? That term varies by definition. I know this bad ass woman in her sixties who is in her prime and thriving (no sorry mum, not just you).

Looking back at my twenties, it has been an absolute rollercoaster, but I know I will thank my twenties for everything. I have said this in another blog piece, but every age will bring its own lessons and we will forever be learning. I can confidently say my twenties have taught me a lot about myself, and even though it may not be external proof, I have worked on a lot of internal things.

As you know, I reflect on life really deeply, but I also want to unlock that inner child, forever.

This brings me to my security in friendships — these friends are locked in! I will forever thank my lucky stars for the friends I have in my life, who I can be my true, authentic self with. I am so honoured as well that I get to be a part of their chapters.

Big one, but look after myself. Post hypnotherapy, I am a little better at handling my anxiety and taking care of my body too.

I have a lot of wishes and aspirations, but I am going to keep these to myself for now. I know I do love an occasional overshare, but some things need to remain a mystery.

I have also realised that I love listening to people’s stories. I love knowing what experiences they have gone through, all the things that have made them who they are.

I was in London a few weeks ago visiting a friend, and whilst I was waiting for her, I sat on a patch of grass facing the sun (it was a glorious day!). After a few minutes, this girl sat next to me, and thirty minutes in we had overshared and knew everything about each other.

What felt so magical about that moment was that we were both talking about life and stress, and how important it is to look after our physical and mental health. So we exchanged some tools and tips, and now I have her on socials.

So many interesting places to travel, people yet to meet, stories to hear, and journeys to follow.

At the end of the day … it is the end of the day

I have only been twenty-nine for less than a month so I feel like I cannot predict or say too much of what this year is going to bring, but I hope it is full of surprises (in a good way).

Things I am trying to accept (keyword: trying): 

• I have already found a few, JUST A FEW grey hairs. I remember telling my mum that this is the end now, everything is ruined.
• I will almost pass out or throw up after doing a hardcore strenuous exercise.
• I bloody love being comfortable – I cannot sit for ages on these benches anymore with no backs, gosh do you want my posture to still remain like a bent prawn? (The ironic thing is whilst I am typing this line, I am actually sitting outside of a really cute cafe in the sun and on one of them benches).
• I really don’t feel guilty for being honest anymore. 
• I’ve stopped accepting less. In love, in friendships, in life. Outgrowing people hurts but staying smaller hurts more.
• Every single one of us human beings are a work in progress.
• Also, a lot of us do seek validation. 

A part of me actually didn’t want to post this blog piece, I don’t know I just felt extra vulnerable and I guess I was overthinking a bit? Obviously there is always the “what if someone reads this and thinks it’s shit” or “ she’s a bit too much” but hey ho I’ve pressed the submit button now! Also, I’ve received such lovely comments and feedback from some people which really encourages me even more to keep sharing. 

Also, you know when we upload our pictures / highlights on Instagram, and then we look back at it? Yes, this is the exact same thing I will do when I write my pieces and it could be absolutely amazing actually in a year, two or ten reading back on all of this and seeing how many plot twists have taken place – even if it’s none, that’s okay I’m sure I’ll have some other randoms to ramble about.

I would say bring on the thirties, but honestly lets just relax and enjoy being twenty-nine. 

Here’s to being a silly billy at times, because we all need to be. x